Dark days...

There are some days i just wish would end, and then there are days that i wish would never end... yesterday was a good day - i cooked (woohoo) some pasta with alfredo sauce, attempted at some roast chicken and had brownies and had some friends over for a good old fashioned lunch.. yes, i know it was Easter but i really didn't have the Easter theme going on.. next year, people!! haha but we played Settlers for about 6 hours straight.. my butt can vouch for that! and my sore back.. haha that sounds so wrong...

then we have a day like today.. it starts out like a pretty normal day - considering i have only 9 weeks to go with my pregnancy.. my back is sore, i had to pee pretty much the whole night (so not much sleep), tired, grumpy - but still i managed to be ready for work earlier than usual.. i get in, and i start working on getting a hotel room for Bappi because he wants to come to NE for New Year... which is ok, but considering its height of the season and to run around for the rooms NOW, is somewhat tough.. but of course, Amrita to the rescue.. and yes, yours truly manages to get not just one room, but THREE for him! (apparently now he needs only one).. grrrrr.. anyways, my talents were well-utilized.. plus, i finished most of the tasks on my list today...

what has to spoil my mood... i brought in some brownies to work.. they were good - friends and Nisal will testify to that.. and my stupid cousin comes in and eats a bunch and gets together with my mom and completely insults them.. its one thing to insult for a min or two, but its quite another when you keep going and going and going until you get a reaction and thats what they did.. in the end, i got really pissed off because only i know the shit i went through this weekend plus last weekend (those who know, know...).. its like if i went to my mom's place in NE and insulted all her hardwork decorating the place.. knowing the trouble it went through to create it, i wouldnt insult it.. thats just me.. i guess thats the Hapu way of toughening you up... but honestly, does it help bugging a pregnant girl? seriously.. GROW UP! anyways, i got pissed, walked out of the room. and my mom stopped talking to me... when she did start talking, she basically said i was over-reacting blah blah blah.. and then later told me and nisal that we wouldnt be joining her in NE, if we wanted we could come seperately because dealing with MY issues (i.e. me getting upset for the "slightest" things - her words, not mine) would not be good for her or our relationship with her..

anyways, maybe this is a good thing.. we can take off somewhere down south, spend some time near the beach, relax... i do want some time off before the baby comes, because i know once the baby comes, i probably be more sensitive.. ugh.. talk about post-natal depression.. i really dont want to go through stuff like that..

all i want is to be happy.. just have my own little niche in the world, to share with my lovely husband and myself, decorate it the way i want, spend time with the people who i love and just enjoy life.. thats all.. i wish things were that simple though..

we wanted to get our own place, but that is proving to be impossible with the cost of living in this country.. banks wont loan us the money - they would but the interest rate is sky-high.. nisal's uncle is trying to help us out but its like we are begging off him.. my mom's company isnt doing too well so i cant ask for a loan like that.. nisal's parents are busy with their house to help us.. so i am basically broke.. ugh.. so much for independant living huh...

on the bright side, since its just after Easter/Good Friday - i do have things to be grateful for (so dont think i am a complete spoilt brat)
1. I have a wonderful loving husband :-) which i love completely and totally and cant imagine life without
2. I am about to have a baby who will love me unconditionally too (before he/she becomes a teenager)
3. I have great in-laws - Nisal's uncle and parents who are just too amazing and kind.. i have been blessed
4. Good friends who have stuck by me over the years - thank you
5. Decent family (other than that stupid cousin of mine)
6. My mother's place where we are staying now - at least we have a roof over our heads and food on the table (granted i do get some of the food that comes into the house, but still...)
7. Relatively free will...
8. My Lanka Woman job which lets me get away from the more 'stressful' times in my day... i can just go into my literary world..

So i am happy - to an extent.. till the next time - happy Sinhalese and Tamil New Year!